26 November 2008

i want to apply physics when changing a tire

Dear Volkswagen,

Recently, I had to change my tire. In the cold.

The lugnut wrench you supplied me, happily, did fit the lugnuts. Sadly, it was at most 14" long, which barely gave me room to stand on it.

Why did I have to stand on it? Because it's so damn short and I was not able to use physics to assist me with the tight lugnuts.

You see, if I had a longer wrench, I would have been allowed to apply less force at that outer edge. Kind of like the ice skater who pulls her arms in to spin faster, and then goes to change a tire. With your shorter wrench, we must stand on and bounce up and down on it, applying not much physics at all. In the cold.

Though, in general, standing on things can be fun, I was keenly aware that my objective was to turn -- and thus render unsuitable as a stand -- the very thing on which I was standing.

In the future, should I purchase another Volkswagen or Audi, I would appreciate a lugnut wrench no less than two feet long. Or at the least, a giant VW-emblemed pillow to place next to the car onto which I can fall.

Thank you.

1 comment:

JustJoeP said...


works well to create a nice "moment". It DOES suck though, that such a tool, or even a telescoping single bar, is not included as original equipment.