a physics joke

Einstein walks ten miles to a party. When he arrives, the host says, "wow, you spent a lot of energy getting here."

Einstein replies, "es machts nicht."

how soon is too soon to make a joke about terrorism?

without getting into the length of time post-incident being related to the damage extent of the act, i will say, "you have to wait until it's common knowledge."

late on Friday, i said this to the IT guy at work:

"hey, those printer cartridges you ordered from Yemen never arrived."

he and a couple other guys gave me a confused look. none of them had read any news for the day.

timing is everything.

joke of the day, UK style

Q: what are you eating under there?
A: pants.

joke of the day

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

Debbie Gibson and Tiffany who?

Exactly.

joke of the day

Two drums and a cymbal fell into a trap.

Buh-dum kshhhhhhhhhhhh.




.

joke of the day

Knock-knock... Who's there?
Knock-knock... Who's there?
Knock-knock... Who's there?

Phillip Glass.


-

bush v shoe

Q: Why did the Iraqi reporter throw his shoes at Bush?

A: Because Fox News didn't cover it when he sat with the bottom of his shoes facing Bush.

on a scale from 1 to 10

i've got an HILARIOUS joke that i play when someone asks me to rank something on a scale from 1 to 10. it goes like this:

them: on a scale of 1 to 10, how [whatever it is]
me: is one or ten high?
them: ten.
me: five.

see how hilarious that is? my answer is the same regardless of the orientation of the scale. HILARIOUS!

except: the middle of 1 and 10 is 5.5, not 5. but that's not as funny. not nearly as funny. am i indeed better served by making the arithmetically inaccurate but funnier answer, or should i strive for accuracy in joke-making?

joke of the day

Q: where does the king of Britain keep his armies?
A: in his sleevies.

so dumb, but it made me laugh.